Why Giving Your Brand A Break Is Okay

Hi beautiful friends! Our founder, Kiki, has a little something to share with you as we kick off our new look & vibe.
Well, hello! I wanted to take the opportunity on this first blog of the fabulous new K Girl to share a bit about what has been going on with myself and with K Girl, and why it’s okay. I am sure you have noticed that since K Girl first launched three years ago we have been anything but consistent. Our content was spotty, our brand was mismatched. We have been running a bit chaotically. So I made the choice to take a little, okay maybe a lot, of time off and refocus.
When I started K Girl it was at the end of a serious relationship. It was a time in my life where I began realizing I had lost myself in the relationship and I no longer knew who I was. So I created the K Girl blog as a way not only to find myself but to help other fabulous women find themselves too. Of course, in hindsight it may have been smarter to have found myself first and then shared what I learned with all of you… or was it truly smarter? The chicken or the egg…
Over the past few years I have definitely found myself and also honed in on why I started K Girl and what I want K Girl to look like in the long haul. I found that I love helping people and empowering women, like myself. I also found that my favorite way to do this is through branding. I believe that life branding is one of those life components that often times gets overlooked and underestimated. A life brand is a brilliant, concise way to define who you are and where you are going in life, love and profession. We’ll dive deeper into what a life brand is later down the road.) But like many humans it took me awhile to discover my purpose and define it.
I have had many ideas for K Girl. And I have time and time again announced my new divine plan, and then… faltered. I either never started or my idea and motivation quickly fizzled. Last year as I was preparing for the birth of my first child I had a serious chat with myself (not out loud, don’t worry, I am not nuts). I called myself out. I was being lazy, undirected. I needed a reset. So, I hit the pause button. I spent the past year dreaming up ideas but not dramatically announcing them to the world. Instead I took a more organic approach; I quietly talked about them to close friends and then I did something truly important. I discovered how I work best.
This was important because it was the beginning of curing my lazy-self. I totally stopped what I was doing and put all my focus into figuring out the best method for me to accomplish all I wanted. I also needed to be able to sustain this new form of working. What I found was that I am super focused from about 7am – 11am and that I get creative at about 2am… Yeah, so not sustainable. Going to bed at 3 am and waking up at 6am while being a single mom to a one year old just wasn’t going to work. So, I decided to just be organic with it. Some days I get up at 6 and other days it’s more like 10 when little man wakes up (Yes, I am crazy lucky that my kid goes to bed at 10pm and gets up at 10am). I haven’t yet found a way to honor both of my working times within the same day. I am still, and always will be, a work in progress. But I am focising on me and how I can bring my dreams to fruition, while still honoring all parts of my life.
Sometimes that means you have to put everything on hold and figure shit out. So that sucked for all of you because my little sabbatical meant K Girl was a total inconsistent hot mess. So finally a few months ago I made the choice to totally shut it down. No more blogs, no more social media posts. Nothing. I wanted to be sure I was truly ready for the next phase of my life and K Girl. Now, if K Girl had a larger following and was a bigger operation this would have been a problem. However, K Girl isn’t there yet(but just you wait, boooyyee!). We are still an unknown blog with a handful of incredibly generous followers. So I had the ability to do this. And I am forever grateful to you for allowing me to take that time.
The whole putting your life on hold may seem nuts but it really is freeing. For those of us who seem to be aimlessly wandering through this world, a total reset is exactly what we need. Now, when you do this no apologizing! You are honoring you and your beautiful hustle. Everyone else can deal with it. When you get back to reality you will be a more confident beautiful person. You will be a better person for you AND everyone else. So it’s a win-win!
I get that you may not be able to take a year or two off and find YOU. But you can still be cognizant of the world you live in and discover the life brand that not only defines who you are but that you can exude with joy and confidence. I had to do this while learning to be a new mom too. So it’s not like I was just at home eating bon-bons. If I can do it you can too.
Just remember to be unapologetic, honest and loving to yourself and others during this transition of YOU. At the end of the day you owe it to yourself to dive into you. Figure out your dreams, how you work and what is the best approach to make it all come true… for you.
You got this.
Love,
Kiki

 

We want to hear from you. Be sure to drop us a note below and let us know how you have and are honoring yourself to find your life brand.

Surviving the Grieving Process

Surviving the Grieving Process
Run and hide. Those are our instincts when it comes to grief. We will do anything we can to avoid the awful pain of losing someone or something. We don’t want to face the reality, so we run. We mask our pain with promiscuity, alcohol, shopping or sometimes complete seclusion. Anything to loose ourselves in. We tell ourselves it is so much easier to hide and run, but is that really true? Nope. What we forget is that even if we run we can only run so fast and for so long. Eventually the thing we were running from will catch up with us. Only now the pain will devour us. It will hurt so much more than had we simply let it in from the beginning. We have to go through the grieving process to heal in a healthy productive way. So it’s time to stop running and face the music. Even if it is some haunted mansion creepy town junk.
So where do you begin? Well this is easy in theory. You begin by acknowledging the loss. Find a nice quiet space where you are truly alone. If you have a favorite zen room, go there. A nice secluded spot in the middle of the wilderness is especially nice (you can really scream it out and no one will hear! – just try not to go late at night). Now, let it all out. EVERYTHING! Don’t hold back. If you are angry this is your chance to drop every nasty four letter word in the book. If you are sad you can still drop every four letter word known to man. The mic is yours. Scream, shout, whisper. Whatever you need to do to get the toxic energy out. Do it.
Once you have verbally and perhaps physically let it out write it out. Your mind is a little clearer now. The toxic waste is leaving and you can really dig deep to the root of the loss. Write down how you are feeling. It may not all come out a t once so try keeping a journal. Carry it with you every day. Sometimes it can be beneficial to be able to write down your feelings the minute they pop up. Use your journal consistently. A study on the Emotional and Physical Health benefits of Expressive Writing found that there was a direct link to a healthier body and mind. Um, yes please! The study even goes in to ways to use expressive writing as a tool for traumatic events (check it out!). It may take a few weeks or months to truly allow yourself to release your true feeling about the loss. There is nothing wrong with this. We all grieve and heal differently.
Remember that time is on your side when it comes to the grieving process. You need to take as much time as you need to be able to move forward in a healthy strong way. The last thing you want to do is rush through your emotions. If you and your significant other recently parted ways, don’t jump into another relationship. Yes, your friends may want you to jump back on the horse but that is simply because they love you and hate seeing you in pain. The important thing to remember is that you have to go through this process at your own speed, no one else’s. This is your life, you set the pace.
Eventually the pain from the loss will lessen and life will return to normal. Well, kind of. The difference will be that you are a little wiser, much stronger and probably healthier than before. So don’t be afraid to feel the pain. Allow yourself to take on the grieving process. Stand up and say “Bring it ON!” You will survive this. You are a strong beautiful K Girl.

10 Ways to Claim Your Destiny

As children, we all dream of being something, being someone. As we go through life we are faced with choices that shape and alter the person we dreamed of becoming. Sometimes those choices lead us to exactly the person we wished to become, sometimes they don’t. Either way it is always a good idea to sit down as an adult and reevaluate our hopes and dreams. Who do you want to be in one word or phrase? What do you want to do? Here are 10 easy steps to determine what you want to be when you grow up and how you will get there.
Your Destiny is your to take. Don't wait for it. Go get it.
Your Destiny is your to take. Don’t wait for it. Go get it.
  1. Don’t start with the question of what you want to do. Instead, start with the question of who do you want to be. What characteristics do you wish to posses? Go beyond the, “I want to be happy.” We all want to be happy, but what is it that is going to make you happy? Do you want power, to be challenged, family oriented, or maybe you want freedom. You have to find your broad desire in order to narrow in on the tangibles that you want.
  2. Now that you have your broad desire in your mind, it is time to make a list. Make a list of all the people you believe to embrace the concept of who you want to be. Who do you look up to? These can be people you know or people you admire from a distance. This is your Target List. These are your role models.
  3. Now the question of what do you want to do. Look at what those on your target list are doing. Chances are the majority will fall into a career category that you, subconsciously or consciously, want. Keep your broad goal in mind when choosing a career. Does being a stay at home mom align with your desire for power? It just might. You have to think outside the box. Being a stay at home mom doesn’t mean that you can’t be powerful. You could become a powerful leader for other moms who tirelessly work to keep their home in order and their kids in check. No one said that your future self has to align with the social concept of power or being a stay at home mom. It just has to align with you. This is your destiny, not theirs.
  4. What about how you will achieve success as your future self? So, let’s say you are a stay at home mom who wants to be a powerful public figure. How will you do this? Maybe you start a blog. Share your experiences with other men and women who have a career in parenting and domestication. Hold webinars on what you have done to be the best homemaker you can be. Come up with ways that will push you into being the public voice and powerful leader in your niche.
  5. What do you need to be this person? You have to decide what has to be in your toolbox to get you the clout you need to be this powerful leader. Get an education or maybe just expand your current education. Experience you need to back your knowledge. A husband and some kids. If you are 21 and making this list, maybe you don’t have all those in your toolkit just yet, but you know you will need them. So, perhaps you should think about taking some marketing classes. You are going to need to market yourself as a leader and guru. Maybe, start a blog. Grow a following that will grow with you as you step into the role you long to be. Think big and be bold.
  6. Who do you need to surround yourself with? As a power mom, you absolutely have to find other moms you can find inspiration from. Maybe you also need to find some bloggers or entrepreneurs that can guide you on the path to be a successful public figure. Now that you know whom you need in your inner circle, take a look at who is in your life now. Are there people who aren’t going to be supportive or an inspiration towards your future? If so, it may be time to let them go, but only if you truly believe that they are not going to support and grow with you. If you are on the fence about them, that’s okay too. Perhaps it is better to just set some boundaries until you can determine how your future self is going to feel about them. You can be a stay at home mom who has a wild and crazy single friend who likes to party. Sometimes you are going to need to let your hair down. You just don’t want to do that all the time, so set boundaries.

  7. Now it is time to get really specific. We have determined what you want to be and what you want to do, but what will your future self wear? Where will you live? You have to find your “life style.” Make a list of the types of clothes you need in your wardrobe and what you need your dream home to have and be decorated with. It may seem foolish but outlining every little detail of your future self will help you see yourself. So be specific.
  8. Don’t just stop with what you wear and where you live. Go further and decide what kind of hobbies you want to have. Imagine the vacations you will take. Allow yourself to dream about what your daily life will be like. What will your daily schedule look like? You have to embody everything about your ultimate destiny so let your imagination take wings.
  9. Look at your life as it stands today. Anything that aligns with your goal is a definite keeper. However, there may be things that don’t match your desires as well. It is your job to place all the things in your life right now into categories. Category 1) Keepers, Category 2) Need tweaking, Category 3) Temporary, Category 4) Adiós!
  10. Time for action! You have your lists, so get out there and start making your dreams a reality. Start small. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Tackle just one habit or question at a time.
Hope you wrote this all down! It is important for you to write you goals, desires, lists, etc. down so that you can look back to it when you are feeling uncertain about your path. Above all else remember that as a human you are complex and constantly changing. Tomorrow you may experience something that will alter your path and your destiny. That is okay. You are a living, breathing being. Your goals, hopes and dreams have to do the same. You can be anything and anyone you want at any given time. Don’t EVER let anyone tell you different. Now go claim your destiny! Be a K Girl!

Simple 2015 Resolutions

Resolutions should be simple
Resolutions should be simple. The goal is to complete your list by the end of the year!
Well, it is that time of year; time for New Year’s Resolutions. Chances are you have begun or finished that laundry list of things you want to do or improve in your life, and chances are you won’t fulfill half of your goals. It’s not that you don’t want to reach your goals or that you don’t have the willpower to be successful. Life just gets in the way; things happen. So what can you do to make your list jump off the page and into your life?
You can start by keeping it small. Yes, you have an entire year to complete your list. That seems like a long time; however, it has been proven time and time again, that this is merely a blink of an eye. December 31, 2015 will be here before you know it. So, start with a small list of 4 or 5. You can always add to this list if you find that you have completed or incorporated all of your resolutions by July. Now, just because your list is small doesn’t mean you want to go after the most unrealistic goals imaginable.

You are not a superhero. As fun as it is to pretend we have wings or a cape, we have to be realistic. Choose resolutions that are small and easy to fulfill. If you have a history of throwing in the resolution towel by February, than small manageable goals are a must. Keep it simple, stupid. Work on your posture. The greatest thing about this resolution is that it is more than a simple task. Yes, you will have better posture come 2016, but you will also gain other benefits. Your energy will increase, you brain function will be higher, and you will be happier and healthier by the end of the year. Choose small realistic resolutions that pack a punch. In other words, find resolutions that will subconsciously affect other aspects in your life. Create a ripple effect.
While choosing realistic goals is a must. You have to steer clear of goals that have not worked in years past. We all say that we are going to loose weight and go to the gym. However, how many of us have actually completed this resolution? Raise your hands. Yup, not enough. So let’s rethink this. Take a night to sit down, by yourself, and analyze why this particular goal is not being fulfilled. Pinpoint what it is that makes this task so difficult. Maybe it seems daunting and you are becoming overwhelmed by the notion of spending hours in the gym. So instead, let’s go back to the ripple effect. Start with a tangible goal. Find a run or maybe an adult pageant in December that you can enter. What do you have to do to get ready for these events? Well, you have to eat right and exercise. There’s your ripple. Because you have something that you want to accomplish you have to then complete smaller tasks. This in turn will force you to get active and loose those extra pounds. You can also keep it even smaller, if you prefer, by joining a running club or soccer league. You will get out and exercise doing something enjoyable. By 2016 those nasty little pounds will be gone and you will finally be able to enter a New Year without the worn out resolution of “loose weight.” 

The moral of 2015 is to keep life simple. Don’t become overwhelmed by big goals and unreachable expectations. Keep your list small, set goals and create a ripple. Make life easy for yourself and you are sure to have a fabulous 2015!

Fresh Start

Breakups are hard and hurt way too much. But what would we expect? They are called BREAKups after all. The worst part of a breakup is the moving on. You have spent so much time and energy dreaming and planning for your future with this one person and in a single moment it is all washed away with tears. So how are you supposed to get your fresh start?
Fresh Start
Find the beauty in the discarded.
First things first. Make a Fresh Start list. Decide what you have always wanted to accomplish but didn’t because one thing or another got in the way. Maybe you wanted to lose a few extra pounds; join a gym and take some classes where you can meet new and exciting people. Perhaps you want to start a new career, one that doesn’t tie you down to a desk all day long. Take some time to find out what means the most to you in life. Just make sure this list is full of things that come from your heart and not your impulses. Stay away from things like getting a tattoo or dying your hair purple. Make positive choices to promote a happy life. You don’t want to regret the list. This list symbolizes your fresh start. So dream big and don’t settle.
For many settling is the reason your relationship didn’t work out. You became complacent and then resented that life. This is your fresh start to be choosey. Take your time to make decisions. There is no rush. When you are ready to get your own place take your time and look at all of your options. The last thing you want to say to yourself is, “Well hey, it’s smelly and creepy but it’s cheap.” The same can be said when you begin to date again. This is your chance to get it right. Be picky. Make sure this guy is all the things you are looking for. This is your fresh start to get it right.
The most important part about achieving your fresh start is being selfish. No one wants to be the selfish type but when you are getting your life back that is exactly what you are entitled to do. This is your time to think of only yourself and to figure out just what it is you want in life. You won’t be selfish forever. Once you pick up the pieces of your life and get the engine running again you will be anything but selfish. Remember to take all the time you need. It’s hard and may be a slow process.
Nothing about this next chapter is going to be easy. You are going to have good days and bad days. There will be tears and anger but in the end the goal is to have a happy and fresh start on life. Be extraordinary.