3 Relaxation Techniques to Keep You Motivated

Staying relaxed and motivated isn't always as easy as you need it to be when you are living a Boss life. Try these 3 simple techniques to keep you the Boss juices flowing.

 

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in deadlines and providing perfectly inspiring content that we become stressed out. Do you ever feel like in those moments you either put out half a$$ work or you get so stuck that you cant get anything finished at all! Eeek! That’s no good. Part of this is because your natural stress instincts kick in. Your body starts reacting the only way it knows how. Your heart rate speeds up, it begins prepping itself to run away. See ya later, deadline. So we have come up with a few things you can try to help you relax, so you can put out your best work.

Deep Breathing

This is a pretty simple concept but the reward is great. While you breathe instinctively throughout the day, there are breathing techniques you can practice to give yourself the extra boost and clear mind when you need to get sh*t done. Using a technique known as “firebreath” can really relax and energize your mind and body. To begin get yourself into a comfortable position giving your belly plenty of room to go in and out. Once you’re comfy, begin panting like a dog. Do this for a moment. Now, close your mouth and start taking quick breathes again but through your nose. Now go back and forth between the two breathing styles. Continue firebreathing until you begin to feel slightly dizzy but still energized and awake. Don’t go any further than this… unless you want to pass out. Which we do not recommend as a good idea. The great thing about practicing this quick breathing technique is that you are doing more than calming your body in that moment, you’re also training your body to be less stressed all around. Overtime you wont have to practice breathing. Your body will naturally remember what to do in stressful situations. So the need to practice breathing or even being stressed will diminish! Woot! There are many other techniques like deep breathing or OM breathing. Pick your fav and give it a go daily.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This technique is a bit more difficult to begin. But the physical relief you will fell will relax your mind and you will gain more focus. Begin by lying on your back. Allow your legs and arms to melt to the side of you. Once comfortable tense your body isolating one body part at a time. Tense each part for about 30 seconds. You can begin with your toes and feet and work to your face and head or begin with you head and head down your body. The choice is yours. Some have found it beefical to place a finger on your temple as you go through this process. By doing this you are creating a memory of this technique. The goal being that you will eventually be able to simply place your finger on your temple and instantly feel the release of stress from your body.

Kissing

We know kissing someone special is amazing and hopefully takes us to a hhappy place. But the cool thing is that there is actually some science behind this wonderful feeling that we often crave. Actually kissing someone you care about releases happy happy hormonoes like oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine… You know the chemicals we rush to the gym to for. (So obviously going to the gym would also be another great way to relax and reenergize.) These chemicals all work in our bodies to calm us and give us that loving feelin’ inside. Kissing is also great for the immune system. Many believe that a little smooch boosts our virus fighting defenses. And a little French kissing with honey can fight cavities. The more saliva you get going the better. So call your lover and go at it like teenagers. Fun and healthy? Yes, please!

These are only a few of the many many tricks you can try to reduce your stress and to help you enjoy your life a little bit more. Try one or try them all. It’s up to you… Just try something! You deserve a peaceful happy life.

Make sure to leave us a comment about what technique you tried to help you relax. Can’t wait to hear what kind of fun you had!

Finding Your Silver Lining

 Feeling like life is one big pot of crazy?! Need something to make you smile? Your silver lining might just be right in front of you.
Life can be tough. Do you often find yourself engulfed in the daily grind? Never truly seeing or appreciating your life… Then POOF! You wake up one day and your whole life has flown by. Sure, maybe you take time for yourself but you can’t seem to relax long enough to soak up the benefits from the escape. Here’s the kicker… It is a simple-ish switch in your mindset. If you want to bring more happiness into your life you have to put in the effort to appreciate ALL that you have. Yes, ALL, even the crappy stuff.
Those negative bits of life, that irritate the hell out of you, do have silver linings. You simply have to look for them. Sometimes they are harder to see than other moments, but they are there. Let’s say you have an extremely negative person in your life. What is the first thing you are going to do? You are going to tell them to peace out. Right?! That’s happiness 101. Get rid of all negative energy. Unfortunately, or fortunately, this simply isn’t always an option. Either they keep finding their way back into your life or they are an in-law or someone you are usually fond of and aren’t ready to let go of. No matter what the reason is for them staying in your life, you have to remember that there IS a reason. The reason isn’t always that they are one day going to be your BFF or your fav person. Sometimes the drama they are dishing out will affect another area of your life. Maybe the drama they are bringing into your life pushes you closer to someone else. Hopefully, once their purpose for you life is fulfilled (in the eyes of the Cosmos) the Negative Nelly will find their way out of your life. Often when you focus your attention elsewhere (like a budding health relationship) the party pooper moves one, because you aren’t taking the time and energy to feed their egos by joining in on their drama fest. Sometimes these types just want to alienate you or ruin another relationship you have. Hopefully this only makes your relationship stronger! Silver Lining!!
Sometimes it’s not a person but a piece of your life. Maybe it’s your crappy job, working for crappy people, in a crappy city. Sure, maybe it started out awesome. You were excited and challenged. What could possibly go wrong?! Well… a pile of crap can go wrong. It just keeps piling up until one day you realize you no longer know or love your life. But there is still time to fix it. Dust off that resume, update your personal brand, create a life brand. As you do all of this you will see how much wiser you are and how much more kick butt experience you now have. All because of the crappiness you have been experiencing in your life. These new powerhouse traits you have picked up are going to help you land a truly awesome job… silver lining. Boom.
The thing about silver linings is that you have to look for them. They aren’t always jumping up and down right in front of your face screaming, “Yo! Hom girl! It’s me, a silver lining.” That would be awesome but totally not gonna happen… 99% of the time. And if you are looking and you really can’t find them… well, that’s because it’s all inside your head. You need to relax and refocus. You can’t see them because your head is a total mush ball of chaotic crappy crap trying to ruin your life. Don’t let it do that. Take back control over your mind (and your life) and find those damn silver linings!
To gain that control you have to remember that life won’t suck forever. In the meantime, enjoy those silver linings and don’t forget to give those crappy moments a chuckle. You never know when a silver lining is hiding inside. So, change your mind, let positivity in and shut out the crap. Otherwise, you are going to get sucked into the crap hole and you seriously don’t want that.
Stay positive and hopeful. Eventually, whatever issue you have will resolve itself, one way or another. You simply have to be patient and enjoy every little happy moment you can grasp onto. And in those frustrating moments keep your faith in that silver lining.

10 Summer Fundays

Make your summer end with a bang! Enjoy these 10 Summer Fundays.

With a few more weeks of summer left, it’s time to make the most of the warm sunshine. We’ve got some fabulous summer fundays to make these last weeks extraordinarily memorable.

Cape Cod Bike Ride & Picnic

You don’t have to live at the Cape to enjoy the iconic summer vibe. Find yourself the cutest picnic basket and fill it with all of your favorite goodies. Don’t forget a cute vase to add some flare to you picnic with some fresh picked flowers from your picnic extravaganza. When you basket is packed strap it onto your cruiser and head to the park or near by lake.

 

Backyard Camping Trip

Sure, you could have a simple backyard camping night, weekend, whatever… BUT why not take it up a notch. Invite your girlfriends, your lucky fella or enjoy the time alone. Set up your tent, add a movie projector, hotdog and s’mores bar… And you’ve got yourself a night of fancy backyard camping.

 

Polaroid Picture Adventure

There is just something beautifully nostalgic about a polaroid picture. Snag yourself a camera on Amazon and hit the road. Spend the day searching for the perfect summer inspired pictures.

 

Basic Girl Day

We all love the best of the Basic Girl trends. Why not make a silly day out of doing all the “Basic” things of life. Start your day with some avocado toast and a delicious cup of coffee. Get yourself gorgeous and have a Snapchat selfie sesh. Then you absolutely have to spend the afternoon floating in the pool on a fabulously extra large pink swan. Top the night off with some sushi and a rom-com… don’t forget the rosé!

 

Get Your Park On

When was the last time someone went parking on a date? Find a secluded spot with a beautiful view and park your car. Hop in the backseat and enjoy a steamy makeout sesh. Enjoy the romantic throwback!

 

Swing and Read

Grab your summer read and curl up in a hammock. Make sure to grab a light cozy blanket, a crisp glass of wine and a soft pillow. Maybe a few snack too! If you’re looking for the right boo head over to the K Girl Book Klub and grab your copy of our monthly read (don’t forget to signup so you get a new fab book each month).

 

Find the Perfect Home

Even if you aren’t in the market for a new home, spend the day house hunting. Hit up all the open houses you can find. Be sure to bring a camera and pen and paper. You never know what clever ideas you might see.

 

Be a Tourist

Get to know your town. Take the day hitting up all the local hotspots and tourist attractions.

 

Watch a Sunrise

We always catch a beautiful sunset. But how often do we catch a beautiful sunrise? Make yourself some coffee or tea and find a comfy spot to watch the sunrise. Really take in this beautiful moment and let it energize your day.

 

Throw a Birthday Bash

Who cares if your birthday is in December? Throw yourself a ½ birthday party full of summer fun from when you were a kid. Set up a water sprinkler and maybe a slip n’ slide. Top it all off is a full on sundae bar. Let out your inner child and get wild! Feel free to add an adult flare with some Jell-O shots and you fav drinking game. Just be sure everyone has responsible fun!

 

With all these great ideas, you are sure to end summer on with a bang. Life is about having fun; whatever you do make sure you are having fun. Get out and experience this beautiful time of year!

Let us know how you enjoyed your summer fundays. Leave a comment below!

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Screw Adulting

 
1, 2, 3… Boom. Welcome to adulting. You now have responsibilities, commitments, deadlines and way too much other crap going on. No wonder you’re such a bore! STOOOP! Pump the breaks. Rewind. You, love, are anything but a bore. But maybe, just maybe, you are acting a touch boring… Don’t shoot the messenger.
Look, it happens to the best of us. As we get older more and more crap piles on top of our plates and we keep thinking, If I can just keep my head down a bit longer I can make it out. Only problem is that the light at the end never gets any closer. It keeps getting farther and farther away. WTF!
But guess what, you have the power to make that light shine it’s light on your beautiful face. Beam me up, Scotty, I want a taste of that! That’s what you’re thinking, right? You can admit it. We feel ya.
The secret you ask for is within you and it is super easy to find. All you have to do is STOP. Each day find a moment or several moments to stop and do something unexpected. If your creative juices are clogged by dull adulthood, stop and dance. Break out your most titillating music and bust a move. Have a solo dance party or to really stop the boring you, drag a few friends onto your impromptu dance floor. Not only will you be the life of the dance party, the physical movement will send your juice flowing right.
Perhaps you’re in a poopoo adult funk and seem to be sucking the life out of everything. But wait; is that a sweet child selling cookies? Sure, you could be a bore and say you can’t buy any because it’s swimsuit season and Lord knows you don’t need another calorie… OR you could buy some delicious sweets and chat with the gang of cookie monsters Find out why they’re selling cookies. Kids are always full of hilarious honesty and cheerful giggles. It is hard to be an uptight bore when they are telling you about the adventures their gang encounters. Let the conversation inspire you to enjoy the rest of your day with a smile. Maybe you will allow yourself to find your own little adventure.
Whatever you do to lift the boring fog, the number one way to live a life that is chalk full of fun vibes is to start living! Stop saying you can’t go to the next Harry Styles concert because you’re too old to have a mad crush on the ex-1D stud… Start opening your iPhone to Ticket Master and hit the buy button. Why miss out on something that could be spectacular because you’re too “adult”? A major adulting sinkhole is this idea that growing up means that you now have to conform to social rules. Be funky. Be wacky. Be YOU. No one is going to look back on your life and say how wonderful you were at doing your laundry or marvel about how punctual you were to work. Now, don’t go skipping out on work, you totally need that job to support your new love of adventure. Work to live; don’t live to work. The point is that you only have one shot at this life so do what brings you joy, and when you do that you will no longer be a bore you will be the coolest adult in town.
Whatever your funk may be, it is up to you to get out of it. Sure, you could be the ol’ stick in the mud or you could be the YOLO hustler. It’s up to you. How do you want to live your life?
We want to hear from YOU. What keeps you young at heart? Please share in the comments below. Until next time, mwah!

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Why Giving Your Brand A Break Is Okay

Hi beautiful friends! Our founder, Kiki, has a little something to share with you as we kick off our new look & vibe.
Well, hello! I wanted to take the opportunity on this first blog of the fabulous new K Girl to share a bit about what has been going on with myself and with K Girl, and why it’s okay. I am sure you have noticed that since K Girl first launched three years ago we have been anything but consistent. Our content was spotty, our brand was mismatched. We have been running a bit chaotically. So I made the choice to take a little, okay maybe a lot, of time off and refocus.
When I started K Girl it was at the end of a serious relationship. It was a time in my life where I began realizing I had lost myself in the relationship and I no longer knew who I was. So I created the K Girl blog as a way not only to find myself but to help other fabulous women find themselves too. Of course, in hindsight it may have been smarter to have found myself first and then shared what I learned with all of you… or was it truly smarter? The chicken or the egg…
Over the past few years I have definitely found myself and also honed in on why I started K Girl and what I want K Girl to look like in the long haul. I found that I love helping people and empowering women, like myself. I also found that my favorite way to do this is through branding. I believe that life branding is one of those life components that often times gets overlooked and underestimated. A life brand is a brilliant, concise way to define who you are and where you are going in life, love and profession. We’ll dive deeper into what a life brand is later down the road.) But like many humans it took me awhile to discover my purpose and define it.
I have had many ideas for K Girl. And I have time and time again announced my new divine plan, and then… faltered. I either never started or my idea and motivation quickly fizzled. Last year as I was preparing for the birth of my first child I had a serious chat with myself (not out loud, don’t worry, I am not nuts). I called myself out. I was being lazy, undirected. I needed a reset. So, I hit the pause button. I spent the past year dreaming up ideas but not dramatically announcing them to the world. Instead I took a more organic approach; I quietly talked about them to close friends and then I did something truly important. I discovered how I work best.
This was important because it was the beginning of curing my lazy-self. I totally stopped what I was doing and put all my focus into figuring out the best method for me to accomplish all I wanted. I also needed to be able to sustain this new form of working. What I found was that I am super focused from about 7am – 11am and that I get creative at about 2am… Yeah, so not sustainable. Going to bed at 3 am and waking up at 6am while being a single mom to a one year old just wasn’t going to work. So, I decided to just be organic with it. Some days I get up at 6 and other days it’s more like 10 when little man wakes up (Yes, I am crazy lucky that my kid goes to bed at 10pm and gets up at 10am). I haven’t yet found a way to honor both of my working times within the same day. I am still, and always will be, a work in progress. But I am focising on me and how I can bring my dreams to fruition, while still honoring all parts of my life.
Sometimes that means you have to put everything on hold and figure shit out. So that sucked for all of you because my little sabbatical meant K Girl was a total inconsistent hot mess. So finally a few months ago I made the choice to totally shut it down. No more blogs, no more social media posts. Nothing. I wanted to be sure I was truly ready for the next phase of my life and K Girl. Now, if K Girl had a larger following and was a bigger operation this would have been a problem. However, K Girl isn’t there yet(but just you wait, boooyyee!). We are still an unknown blog with a handful of incredibly generous followers. So I had the ability to do this. And I am forever grateful to you for allowing me to take that time.
The whole putting your life on hold may seem nuts but it really is freeing. For those of us who seem to be aimlessly wandering through this world, a total reset is exactly what we need. Now, when you do this no apologizing! You are honoring you and your beautiful hustle. Everyone else can deal with it. When you get back to reality you will be a more confident beautiful person. You will be a better person for you AND everyone else. So it’s a win-win!
I get that you may not be able to take a year or two off and find YOU. But you can still be cognizant of the world you live in and discover the life brand that not only defines who you are but that you can exude with joy and confidence. I had to do this while learning to be a new mom too. So it’s not like I was just at home eating bon-bons. If I can do it you can too.
Just remember to be unapologetic, honest and loving to yourself and others during this transition of YOU. At the end of the day you owe it to yourself to dive into you. Figure out your dreams, how you work and what is the best approach to make it all come true… for you.
You got this.
Love,
Kiki

 

We want to hear from you. Be sure to drop us a note below and let us know how you have and are honoring yourself to find your life brand.

Why You Need To Embrace Your Hot Mess Days

 

Do you ever feel like you simply can’t adult? You’re just a hot mess. It happens. Life gets to be too much and you’ve simply had enough. You can’t adult. BUT… We all know that life keeps moving and you have to find some way to keep up. Sounds like you need a hot mess day. A day to embrace your hot mess self and recharge your adult battery. It’s so easy and gloriously divine. You might just want to schedule a hot mess day from time to time!

So, you wake up and the day just isn’t jiving with you. So instead of faking the feel goods, you reclaim the day as a Hot Mess Day! Go ahead, hit the snooze button. Allow yourself to cuddle a moment of silence. Take a moment to reflect on what has you all frazzled. Is it the late night work sessions you’ve been pulling for the last week? Maybe it’s your hubs crazy loud snoring. Or maybe you simply need a break. Whatever it is file it away. You have to adult now. Rome wasn’t fixed during the 8 minute snooze allotment. It’s time to keep going.

Peel yourself away from the sheets and get ready to fully embrace the hot mess. Take a shower. You may be having a hot mess day but you’re not nasty. So take care of your personal hygiene… It will make you feel a little better, promise. Now that you’re clean it’s the beautiful moment that you get to put aside that pencil skirt and those stilettos and embrace the comfy look. Wear something that is comfy chic. A pair of leggings with an oversized sweater and some flats is always a good hot mess standby. Make those sparkly flats, by the way, because sparkles will brighten almost any mood! Now time for the face. Keep your makeup simple. A little powder, mascara and some lipstick should do the trick. Even if you don’t normally wear lipstick give it a go. A bright color may be fun and silly enough to cheer up that smile. Your hair… Go for total hot mess pony town. A messy bun or ponytail is quick and easy to fix on the go and will completely fit in with your current feels. It won’t get in the way of all the things you have to do to adult today.

Now that your hot mess look has been embraced, it’s time to plan the day… Or rather un-plan the day. You know that a full day of adulating simply isn’t in the cards. So take a peak at your schedule and your To-Do list… What can you take out? Is there a meeting that can be postponed? What items on The List can be moved to another day? Take all of the noncritical items out of your schedule and off of your To-Do list. The goal is to take pressure off yourself and allow for moments of total hot mess meltdown. Everything may seem super important and critical but remember that is what probably brought you to this hot mess day in the first place. So take the time to really analyze what needs to be done and what can wait.

You’re dressed, your day is un-planned, it’s time to act! First stop, the best coffee shop intown. It’s time for something deliciously devilish. Fuel up with your fav bev and a little treat to fill your belly. Now off to adult. Throughout the day enjoy the moments you hve left clear. Take a catnap, drop in to a yoga class, give yourself a good cry session. In those moments do what feels right. Listen to your body and soul and feed it what it is craving. By doing this you are banishing the bad vibes and creating space for good juju. So really soak up these moments. These are the moments that will help you leave the hot mess day behind and refocus your energy so that you can adult tomorrow.

As you move through your day you may encounter a task that is on your critical list but it is really sucking out your energy. It’s time to reassess. Is this something someone can help you with? Getting help can make the problem less daunting. The creative collaboration may not only help accomplish the task but the social bug might also lift your mood. Maybe it is something that just needs to be set aside for a day when you have more strength and openness to tackle it. There is nothing worse than pushing through something and not giving it your best work. All that will do is create more anxiety and hot mess days because you are’nt satisfied with the work you put out. Protect your brand image and make sure you aren’t so cut off from the hot mess blues that you aren’t damaging your work.

Now that the day is done you are hopefully feeling a bit more like your powerful Boss Babe self. You let the day come and go as it needed to, you didn’t force anything and you opened yourself up to give yourself space for what is yet to come. Awesome job! Time to take a moment to plan some more hot mess days. This time, instead of waiting until you can’t adult another day and you absolutely have to take a hot mess day…. PLAN a hot mess day. Find a day once or twice a month and call them your HOT MESS DAYS. Write it in your planner. Save it in your phone. It is an important day for every K Girl to be her most powerful self. Make it a day to play hookie from life and go out and do all the things that feed your soul. Take a yoga class, eat a really deliciously unhealthy lunch, go to an art gallery. But don’t plan your day. A hot mess day is about listening to your inner and embracing what it needs. So let your soul guide you. You very well might sit on the couch all day and do nothing but eat popcorn, watch reality tv. Don’t forget to hackle the stars and throw popcorn at the tv when the feeling moves you. It is seriously unbelievably cathartic! Just do what feelds right. Be moved by the moment.

Hot mess days are vital to your power. Sometimes you get to plan them and sometimes they just need to happen. Whatever the need for the hot mess day… Take It! It is a sign from yourself that you need a break. Allow yourself to embrace it. There is nothing wrong with being a hot mess. There is divine beauty in a hot mess life. Find the beauty. Embrace the hot mess.

Don’t forget to leave us a comment about your favorite hot mess day. Or leave a nugget of inspiration on what you do to get through those hot mess days.

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Prioritize Pleasure


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I love the #TruthBomb from Danielle LaPorte, “prioritize pleasure.” Amen! Who doesn’t want to put pleasure at the top of their to do list? Um, yes please. What we often forget is that pleasure doesn’t always look the same. Sometimes it is in ordinary tasks, sometimes it is career driven, or maybe it is an activity that you can’t get enough of. This is meant to be something that allows joy and love to spill out of you and seep into every part of your life. So how can we add a little sprinkle of pleasure into every single day?

Figuring out what exactly it is that gives you pleasure and fills your life with abundance can be one of the hardest tasks. Usually it’s just a lot of trial and error. Get out there; open your horizons. Try kayaking, running, yoga, painting, a bubble bath, meditation, improv classes… The list goes on and on. You just have to open up your mind to all the possibilities and find the courage to try it all. Be daring.

There are also those pleasures that require you to really dig down deep and take stock in your life. Ask yourself, are you happy with the significant other you are spending your time with, are you in love with the career path you are on? If the answer is no then it is time to start making a plan to change that. If the answer is yes, you still need to make a plan to cultivate more joy from these parts of your life. Don’t settle for average. The average person will settle for enjoying the career that makes them happy but doesn’t fulfill them. The extraordinary person will always strive to better every aspect of their life. There is never a limit to the amount of pleasure one can take in or give out. Just remember that average and ordinary aren’t the same things. Average is the measurement of your pleasure, but ordinary is the place that your pleasure can live and grow.

How many of y’all have said, “Cleaning house brings me so much joy. It’s just so peaceful.” Said maybe two people ever. But there is some true wisdom in that statement. If you really dig deep down into the heart of “Prioritize Pleasure” you will find the ultimate truth bomb. It isn’t simply making time for the things that you love to take care of your soul… It is also about changing the way you take life in. You know you have to clean the house. Ugh. Let’s change that ugh into a WOOT! All you have to do is make it fun. Find the pleasure inside of the ordinary. Turn on your favorite playlist for the ultimate jam fest. Once you get a room cleaned light candles as a symbolic checkmark that the room is primed to let in love and happiness. Cleaning is just a means to get to a clean slate to let pleasure into your life. And getting to that clean slate is a celebration with music and dancing.

The key to prioritizing pleasure is to keep searching for those pleasures to enhance your life. J. Cole once said, “I always feel like it’s two key ingredients when it comes to following your dreams, making something happen that the average person deems difficult. If you truly believe it, that’s step one. Step two is, you know, the hard work that goes along with it.” Be audacious and bold. Challenge yourself to try new things and disrupt what is mediocre in your life to find the bliss within the ordinary. You are the keeper of your pleasure. Release your joy!

Be sure to leave us a comment about how you are prioritizing pleasure in your life. We can’t wait to hear from y’all!

Women Like to Talk BUT Silence Is Bliss

Women Like To Talk
Anyone else love to talk? Show of hands. Yeah, it is no secret that most women LOVE to talk. We talk about the sky, what’s trending, what we ate today, how we’re feeling, how someone else should feel… EVERYTHING! A lot of times we literally talk things to death. Especially with our male companions. We talk when we really need to shut up.
It has been sad that women talk 3x more than men. One study says “the average woman uses up 20,000 words in a day – 13,000 more than the average man.” That is a lot of chatter. But ladies, it’s not really your fault. Dr. Louann Brizendine (http://drlouann.ning.com/), author of The Female Brain, says that when a woman talks her brain releases chemicals that give her a high like a heroin addict. Um, that’s crazy talk! But it’s true. So, our secret is out, we do love hearing ourselves talk. #SorryNotSorry We can’t help it! Or can we?
What we can help is how much we talk to our counterparts. Dr. Brixendine found that the female brain has larger pockets for communication, emotion and social connections. While the male brain has large pockets for sex and aggression. That sounds about right. With this information about the way our brains are set up it makes sense that men tune us out. They simply don’t have the space in their brains to absorb all that we are spewing at them. They want to talk about sex and how pissed off they are.
Let’s say your man is having a really bad day. He is super pissed and wants to vent. He starts going on about what happened and then…. You interject. You ask him how that made him feel. Then you ask him what he could have done differently. His response will usually be, “Nothing. I did everything I could.” Good one. Women look at the world like a puzzle. We look for all the ways we can put the puzzle together until we find the right way. We have to figure it out until we get it right. Many men try it one way and if it doesn’t work they move on. But in our need to “talk it out” we have to give him all the different ways he could have gotten through the day or whatever it is he is pissed about. The thing is he doesn’t really care. He said what he needed to say and feels better. He’s ready to move on to more important matters like sex and food. So by the time you get half way through your “How to Make Life Better” speech he is already thinking about sex. You’ve lost him. But yet you keep talking.
So let’s stop talking and start listening more. We don’t have to solve everything. Sometimes there is nothing to solve. Sometimes all we can do is be a silent rock for him to lean on. Just because our brains are wired to have a need to communicate doesn’t mean we can’t find other ways of doing it. Silence can truly be bliss. Listen to what he is saying. If we use the social connection part of our brains we will find that we are very good at reading people. So listen and look for his cues. If he doesn’t specifically ask for your opinion he may not want it. He may just want to let a little bit of aggression out and then let the rest out with some steamy sex. Whatever it is he needs the only way to figure it out is to listen first then talk (or maybe not).
Lastly, there is that whole business about the chemicals that make us high when we chat. We can’t change chemistry but we can find other ways of getting high. Like exercise or shopping!
Will talking is oh so fabulous it isn’t the only way to communicate. So, let’s try some of those silent ways of expression. Like a kiss, holding hands, a wink, the list keeps going. Silence is bliss!
We’d love to know what ways you are trying to communicate these day. Drop us a line in the comments section!

Define Your Brand & Go Get It!

Define Your Brand & Go Get It!
When you build a personal brand you are fully embracing your genuine self. So why do you keep stuff in your life that contradict the brand of YOU? Sometimes you have to take that leap of faith and chase the dream you want. Even if that means being a little lost and confused along the way. Just remember that you are awesome. So live it!
So, what is a personal brand? A personal brand is you and all of your divine glory. It is your dreams, your inspirations, your goals and your powerful knowledge. It’s YOU! To truly capture the brand you want to put out to the world start with a list. Write it down and define it for yourself. Here is a little sample of what that might look like.
You are the brand. Who are you & what do you want?
You are the brand. Who are you & what do you want?
 
Now that you have a list of what the genuine you looks like it’s time to define that in a deeper way. What do you need to do to embrace this brand? Where do you need to volunteer, work or live? Look at every aspect of your life and figure are if you are living a life that inspires your brand. If it’s not then it is time to make a change.
Now, you have a choice. You can be the cautious brander and slowly make your way to Awesome Town or you can jump feet first and grab the life you want. Either way is perfectly okay. You have to do what is right for you. That is the whole point of building your brand. It’s all about what makes you happy. If you are going to take the little by little approach prioritize your list. Start with what is the most important piece for you. Then put them in order from easiest to hardest. Remember you are prioritizing everything. You have the list of what defines you and your sub lists. Prioritize each of these lists. Got your list? Now start with an easy one and make something happen! Then keep going.
Now, if you are more of a jump feet first kind of gal then do something big and drastic. Throw caution to the wind and take a risk. You may break some rules and jump without knowing where you will land but that is okay. Some of the most beautiful things in life are unplanned. Whatever you decide to do it’s all good as long as it pushes you to be happier and find your inspiration.
It may be cliché to say but life truly is too short to be wasted away. You are a divine women. Your life should match your soul. You got this!

Surviving the Grieving Process

Surviving the Grieving Process
Run and hide. Those are our instincts when it comes to grief. We will do anything we can to avoid the awful pain of losing someone or something. We don’t want to face the reality, so we run. We mask our pain with promiscuity, alcohol, shopping or sometimes complete seclusion. Anything to loose ourselves in. We tell ourselves it is so much easier to hide and run, but is that really true? Nope. What we forget is that even if we run we can only run so fast and for so long. Eventually the thing we were running from will catch up with us. Only now the pain will devour us. It will hurt so much more than had we simply let it in from the beginning. We have to go through the grieving process to heal in a healthy productive way. So it’s time to stop running and face the music. Even if it is some haunted mansion creepy town junk.
So where do you begin? Well this is easy in theory. You begin by acknowledging the loss. Find a nice quiet space where you are truly alone. If you have a favorite zen room, go there. A nice secluded spot in the middle of the wilderness is especially nice (you can really scream it out and no one will hear! – just try not to go late at night). Now, let it all out. EVERYTHING! Don’t hold back. If you are angry this is your chance to drop every nasty four letter word in the book. If you are sad you can still drop every four letter word known to man. The mic is yours. Scream, shout, whisper. Whatever you need to do to get the toxic energy out. Do it.
Once you have verbally and perhaps physically let it out write it out. Your mind is a little clearer now. The toxic waste is leaving and you can really dig deep to the root of the loss. Write down how you are feeling. It may not all come out a t once so try keeping a journal. Carry it with you every day. Sometimes it can be beneficial to be able to write down your feelings the minute they pop up. Use your journal consistently. A study on the Emotional and Physical Health benefits of Expressive Writing found that there was a direct link to a healthier body and mind. Um, yes please! The study even goes in to ways to use expressive writing as a tool for traumatic events (check it out!). It may take a few weeks or months to truly allow yourself to release your true feeling about the loss. There is nothing wrong with this. We all grieve and heal differently.
Remember that time is on your side when it comes to the grieving process. You need to take as much time as you need to be able to move forward in a healthy strong way. The last thing you want to do is rush through your emotions. If you and your significant other recently parted ways, don’t jump into another relationship. Yes, your friends may want you to jump back on the horse but that is simply because they love you and hate seeing you in pain. The important thing to remember is that you have to go through this process at your own speed, no one else’s. This is your life, you set the pace.
Eventually the pain from the loss will lessen and life will return to normal. Well, kind of. The difference will be that you are a little wiser, much stronger and probably healthier than before. So don’t be afraid to feel the pain. Allow yourself to take on the grieving process. Stand up and say “Bring it ON!” You will survive this. You are a strong beautiful K Girl.